How much TIME do YOU have?

This is going to be another one of those deep and sentimental blogs... Nothing particular about design tonight. Just some thoughts. For those that need to read about design... Please, return at another time, or check out some great things from the Adobe TV website! ^^ For now... This is a message that has been weighing on me for quite some time. Do enjoy.


Time...


Time is created by the Creator Himself... It was there from the beginning when God separated the days from the night. And we know at times, that we feel as though there is never enough of it. It seems to drag by when we are in a spot we don't really want to be, goes by too quickly when we are enjoying something, and it is something you never want to end when you are with someone very special. Moments... all locked in time. No matter how long or short that season is. It has impacted each of our lives in various ways. As children, our days of exploring & play, end too quickly. As adults, we long to kill time quickly and painlessly while we watch the hands at work on the clock sweep slowly over the bold numbers. When we are with that special someone, gazing deep into their eyes and having a meaningful conversation or prolonged kiss, we never want it to end.


Think about the influence time has had in your life. Think about the times you wished for more... And ask yourself. Was it really mine at all? Was that really MY time? You see... though we can learn to appreciate time and what we have been given, it comes all too quickly a surprise for some. The reality is, in this life, our time will end at some point. Ask the many who have lost loved ones, and they will tell you its ended all too soon for the one they lost. Take anyone else who has seen many years, and ask them to reflect on the moments of their lives that have stood out most. The answers vary as many people as you ask.


Tonight... I really want to reflect on time itself, who it really belongs to, and the reality of it. I know there are going to be many people out there, that do not see my view, and that's ok. I am asking, those that do see it the same way... to prayerfully consider the words written.


I guess, time is truly of the essence. The bible is the main source of life for many, including myself. To know that God's design was time in the beginning, and to know He, Himself is of no beginning and no end, is astonishing. I have many questions I have placed before Him, and though I may never know the answers until an appointed time, or not at all, is sufficient. How does one, who is present before and has never been created or have an end exist? I will leave that to Him. Parts of God will always be a mystery as the bible plainly declares, we only know of Him because He chooses to reveal Himself. But we, the ones He has delightfully created, have a limit. Am I correct? Ahh you are right. It is true, that we are created in His image. This must mean that we are truly eternal beings. Now, then why is it death is present? Why must we die? We do not, in fact. It is only by choice that we do. I mean, sure... this life we live in this natural realm is going to come to an end. But we will still go on living.


I used to think, as a child, that "death was a sleep, and either you woke in a good place, or a not so good place." Is it irrational? No. Its how you explain things as a child, when you have no knowledge of the bible. I have many thoughts, but I know that when a Christian departs, they go right into the presence of Christ. And to me, that is the most pleasing thought. For now, I shall leave this part be.


Now, who does time really belong to? I often think we are on borrowed time. To me, my time, truly is not my own. Sure, I can do things I enjoy. I can enjoy life to the fullest, but I am never to forget, that this life isn't so consuming that it's all about me. The thing is, there is a lost and hurting world out there. God has made us in His image, and we are to be Christ-like. This is a Christians purpose. To lead others home, if you will. I guess, as of late... I have been living for me. And I think about all those I have come into contact with. I have never been perfect, nor will I ever be. The Holy Spirit still works through these things with me. Truth is. Our time is borrowed.  God has given us each a certain number of days that only He knows. We are to use our time wisely and be good stewards of what was entrusted to us. As of late, I have been acutely aware, that I have been wasting too much of HIS time that He has generously given. So... with this being said. I need to inform whomever reads this blog... That it is of extreme importance, that we are all aware, and take the time... to acknowledge the people in our lives, and the role we play in theirs.






Now to my family. Mom. I know you did all you could.  I feel you have regret for the life you lead with us. I want you to know, I appreciate all your hard work.  You provided. You pushed and you have taught me much in these years. I know you wished for more time, and wanted to see us grow up. While you were not there, God was. Do not worry, I am in good hands, and its all because of you and most importantly because God lead the way. It wasn't easy with two girls alone for most of the time, But you did it. Thank you for being strong. Thank you for the tears you never showed, yet I'm sure you cried alone. God heard you. I cannot speak for my sister, but you have done well in the fact that you showed me Christ at an early age. Though it was not as strong as things are now. God took control. But it was you that did His will. THANK YOU!  Victor. Thank you also! Thank you for being the father figure I did not get for much of my life. When my father departed, you were there. Thank you for looking after my mother so well. Thank you for looking after us so well and providing in abundance! Thanks for being the ear I needed when I was a youth. Our life wasn't perfect, but it was time well spent.  I have very fond memories, that I shall always carry with me. So THANK YOU!  And to my sister... What can I say? I'm sorry I wasn't a good influence in your life. It's a bit late now, as we have both gone our own ways. Thanks for the times that you lent me your allowances.  It was thoughtful of you.  Though it annoyed me that you worried about me as a child, it is a sweet memory to reflect upon. I Love you, K. Always have, just never got a chance to really express such deep felt emotions. But now that we are older, and more mature. (Don't worry, I question the maturity level too! ha!) I got a chance now... to say THANK YOU! AND I LOVE YOU!  Thanks for being a good sister, and always standing up for me, looking out for me. God truly does send Angels through our lives. You may be one. Thank you again!


Ahh yes. Now to my friends. I have very few friends, and many acquaintances. Its a special title. Friend. Its something that is reserved for the elite ones that have seen me through much of my hardships, dramas, temper tantrums, and so many other moods I never knew I had! Lol.  So yeah.. here it goes.  First off...thank you Roman.  For just putting up with me. You need a gold metal just for that as its a sport not many can take on! Lol.  That's first and foremost. I know its not an easy task. I do get trying, Don't I? :)  But you always do it with a smile, and remind me of the things that God has truly given me. What you call "softness" God has instilled compassion.  That is going to be a tool to bring those hurting to the Lord. Always has been, always will be.  Thank you for bringing it all back to me.


Mama Donna and Joe! How can I forget my Spiritual Mother and Father? I cannot.  Thank you! Thank you for teaching me, and helping me along in my walk with God. I appreciate it more so than you can imagine.  As I am learning in my classes about Spiritual parents, I just cannot help but to think of all the ways you encouraged me and helped me back to the Lord.


Dawn.  You are such a gem! Always reading this blog and keeping up with it.  :P  It means alot to me.  Honest.  It flatters me to think that my lil sis in the Lord, is keeping an eye on me.  A little guardian angel. How sweet! Girl you seriously need to write your blog eh! I would definitely love to see what you have written! Thank you for being an inspiration.


To Shelagh! Girl... where would I be without you? I mean who knew? You don't go to work one day and think... "Today I'm going to meet someone really amazing that takes even more phenomenal photos!, whom I will grow so attached to!" Ha ha ha.  yeah.  Good times eh? Thank you for always letting me sleep at your place so we can go on our photo outings! I still have plans to steal that bed.  LOL! But You see, I have figured out...its not the bed itself, its the one who's company I'm in.  Psst! Don't worry, when I say "steal" I mean... simply take it to Auckland and leave a little envelope stuffed full of money in its place! ha ha ha.


And I will never forget one girl, whom I don't see anymore and who I greatly miss.  She is Tasha.  My Bestie.  She is such an amazing person.  I am going to find her, and contact her again.  I know it.  I shall try every email I have until I reach her! There are ways.  :P  Girl! Don't think I forgot about you! Lol.  Just cause you're not on every blog or I don't see you or hear from you as often as I love, Doesn't mean you aren't still a huge part of my heart.  I love you.  Always have and always will.  I do pray you are doing well.  I will contact you. I'm sure of it.  We have much to chat about and we need to spend some time together. 


That's it... right? More time? Think about your life... think of those who you love, and please... Tell them. Tell them before you long ever more to say it again.. One last time. I love you...or I have missed you.  Never ever let a moment slip by without telling someone dear to you, that you love them or appreciate them. You truly never know the days you are given. And you can never ever get the time back. We are on borrowed time.  Make the most of it.  Write that letter you have been meaning to write for quite some time now and SEND IT. Do not hesitate.


I will tell you this... A few months, before my grandmother died... I wrote a deep heart felt letter. A very long letter, telling her how sorry I was for being such an unruly child and never taking the time to thank her for all her hard work, making our clothes.  You see, back then, it was a bit of an embarrassment as a child, to think your clothes are not the ones you buy in stores, and whatever excuse as is influenced in modern society. What I never realized, was that, no other child had the grandmother like I had.  She was a great cook, an amazingly crafty person and very clever. The only thing... I never knew my grandmother was going to die so quickly.  I had the intentions of sending off that letter... and just never got around to it.  Printed all 15 pages of it... only to never send it. 3 months later... My grandmother passes away and I had just enough time to go see her while she was in a coma and on life support.  I sat there for a while and talked to her, not even sure she could hear me. I should have told her, how much she meant to me, and how grateful I was. I should have sent that letter.


This is why I encourage each of you... to make it a point.  Regardless of how close you are... or if you haven't spoken in a bit... send that letter.  Just let someone know you are thinking of them today.  Let someone know you are praying for them. Today... when I got an email from Dawn, it made my day.  Short, sweet and to the point.  It was just enough to let me know, I was loved.  Thank you! I pray you all do the same.


Koshkamiaga